[00:00:00] Rebecca: The final step really is the different choices you make now that you. Acknowledged recognized and honored your new identity, right? Cause that's, that's the end of the pattern and the beginning of the next one. Hey you. Thanks for tuning in just a quick heads up. This episode is rated PG 13. So expect to hear some mild language or adult concepts.

[00:00:33] Shawn: Hello, Radiant, Rebecca. So the title of this episode is recognize.

[00:00:40] Rebecca: I liked the way you said that, like bring it recognize.

[00:00:45] Shawn: if you have listened to the entire playlist. I know you have Rebecca, but if everybody else has listened to the entire playlist, congratulations, you're on the last one.

[00:00:54] If you haven't, it's time to take the red pill and start over, it's telling you to go back over to episode 98 is where we started on this.

[00:01:00] Rebecca: And wait a minute. Did we get the red pill and the blue pill thing? Right? I think.

[00:01:04] Shawn: Uh, let's see, red pill says that's where you show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

[00:01:10] Rebecca: Oh, well, all right then. So, okay. I'm glad we got that. Right.
[00:01:16] Shawn: This is the last in the playlist that was created you with you, me and a few other people entitled, loving, courageous.

[00:01:23] Rebecca: Yes, that's right. And if you don't know what we're talking about, you're probably listening to this episode in order of date, which means you haven't heard the other episodes yet, or you don't have a context.

[00:01:35] If you do want to know what that loving courageously playlist is all about. In a nutshell, I've curated episodes from the show that I feel like. There are experiences that have helped me expand my own personal self-respect and in that way, be a better partner and be able to show up more fully to the people that I care about.
[00:01:55] And I think it's a really brilliant playlist. It's an easy way to get some of the best episodes from the show to make the most impact in your own life. And this is the final
[00:02:07] Shawn: episode in the beginning episode, was it
[00:02:10] Rebecca: beginning episode was episode 98. Loving courageously, courageously.
[00:02:15] Shawn: Yeah. This has been a fantastic playlist and I love that this was all put together.
[00:02:19] We talked about at the beginning of that clarity leads to bravery as a great way to get started,
[00:02:24] Rebecca: but great. So we get started.
[00:02:27] Shawn: Um,
[00:02:31] this is a really important aspect. In the past, we talked about taking the red pill, right? Taking the one that leads to self discovery leads to opening one's eyes, leased to opening one's heart and self to growth in this episode is about recognizing that you did it.
[00:02:47] Rebecca: Hell. Yes. I love that. And I think it's important to point out he reasoned.
[00:02:52] This is the last episode in this playlist and this loving courageously playlist is because it's the final step in creating a whole new pattern as looking at yourself, updating your identity for who you are now and using that new. Positive real current truthful identity of yourself to say, okay, well what matters most now?
[00:03:15] What am I going to do in the next chunk of time that comes up?
[00:03:19] Shawn: Ooh, we have so much to talk about. I want to dive deep with you along that thought that you just had, as far as the why, before we get to that, let's talk about how, how do you personally get started in recognizing changes, recognizing things inside of you?
[00:03:37] Rebecca: Um, you know, I think this is a tricky question because every. Day, we see our own incremental improvements as just normal. And so, especially the longer period of time we go without taking a good look at ourselves from a different perspective, the harder it is for us to see how far we've actually. Com. And so if it's been a while, since you've done this kind of look at your life, you might find that there's a whole lot of things there that you didn't expect to be there.
[00:04:09] I usually find that night, I'm doing this about once a year for the last couple of years. And I appreciate that because what it has helped me do is to see. My value in an ever-increasing way. See my own measure of self-respect and concrete ways. And they're like, okay, this is the bullies that I changed about myself.
[00:04:34] And I did it about this time of the year. And I'll look at all of these other things that have. Since then I wouldn't have noticed them or call them that as they were happening, because they felt like, like one small little movement in that direction after another, but one small movement in the direction where you want every couple of seconds or every couple of days gets you pretty far in the direction of what you care about.
[00:04:59] Right. So that's why it matters to me.
[00:05:01] Shawn: Tony Robbins says that people often. Overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in 10. And this whole, the idea of making sure that we're noticing those little incremental changes and making those small changes is a big deal. So you'd like to do that about once a year.
[00:05:19] Rebecca: I do like to do that about once a year, I found that in the past, I normally do it around the turn of the year, December, January, February, something like that this year in particular has felt fairly chaotic and strange and like, Normally end of the year, processes never really felt like they were organized or clear enough for me to dive into them until about this week.
[00:05:42] I don't know why, but for some reason now it feels like, oh yeah. Now the year is done. I'm moving forward. Maybe I'm on the Chinese new year cycle. And I just didn't realize this.
[00:05:51] Rebecca: And
[00:05:51] Shawn: the point is, is that it just gets done. I mean, it could be a year. It could be 15 months. It could be 18 months, just get it done.
[00:05:57] Rebecca: Yeah. And it's not like, get it done. You must get this thing done because it's important for you. It's do this because as you do this, you refill your own tank. You remind yourself of what a bad-ass you are by whatever definition. Decide bad-ass is right, because if you're doing these small things on a regular basis, that match up with who you are, then over time, it's made enough of a difference towards the direction of what you want.
[00:06:26] That. When you look back, you'll be
[00:06:28] Shawn: surprised. So if you look at it, you know, approximately every year, it's almost like looking at a child, you know, you don't notice their growth if you're with them every day, but you know, you go back and to see your neck and you're just like, wow, look at how big you've gotten to me here.
[00:06:42] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. So this is kind of the equivalent of letting them stand up against the door jam and just marking how tall they are with a pencil every few months. Oh, that's the
[00:06:50] Shawn: guy. I love that. Do you have any processes that you use to do this sort of self-defense.
[00:06:56] Rebecca: I do. I have a couple of different processes that I've used over time.
[00:07:00] And. I think it's appropriate, that the process that I use to collate my successes grows as I do. And when I started doing this, I don't remember how long ago it was, but I just had this list on my phone. It was a numbered list and it was a list of all of the things that I ever felt proud of. Anything that I felt like was an accomplishment I put on that list.
[00:07:23] And there was bizarre stuff. There was like doing the 50. Kind of like the reverse burpee. So I did 50 of those in a martial arts class. I was the last one to finish. Everyone cheered me on at the end, but I still got them done. I was so proud of that. I still am. Years later, it's got nothing to do with who I am right now, but it shows a quality that I haven't signed myself.
[00:07:46] And that moment in time encapsulated my ability. To tap into that quality and use it when I needed to. And so that is just this very potent reminder. Oh yeah. Look at you. Here you go. You can do things that you never thought you could.
[00:08:03] Shawn: Yeah. So would you take, would you take a calendar and would you be like, this is the spot that I was in, or this is the things that I was going through and how I felt.
[00:08:14] To kind of quantify where you're at now versus at some previous period of time.
[00:08:18] Rebecca: Yeah, I think that's a great idea. That's what I've done for the last couple of years. There's another podcaster named Shreeny Raul, who has a podcast called the unmistakable creative. He opened up a community called the unmistakable prime and might have updated the name now, but in there he.
[00:08:36] He created a bunch of useful resources for creative people to continue to have some kind of rhythm and pattern in their lives. Schedule or routine that supports the creativity. And one of the things that he did was he created this pamphlet, like 40 page, long annual review book. And the last couple of years I've filled it out, I've printed it out and filled it out and it has been really, really cool.
[00:09:02] So one of the first steps I remember was taking a look at your calendar for the last year and I put everything in my Google calendar. So. This is a really clear way for me to see what actually was happening, particularly the year of the pandemic and the year after that, because so many things shifted and they were big and it was happening like every week or something new would happen.
[00:09:25] So going through week by week through my calendar and just jotting down important things that happen, people that came into my life, people that love my life, that happened a lot in the pandemic too. Unfortunately, what new. Software. I had learned new projects that I had created that I'd never done before.
[00:09:44] Right. It, it helped me. Really keep track and count. The things that I did do instead of looking at our right the year is kind of wasted because I can't do almost all of these things that I love. Well, yeah, almost all is still not all. And now I can find new things that I love, right. And, uh, yeah, this year has been a year of reversing that, so the pandemic has been maybe winding down, I don't know, but it's opening up.
[00:10:12] So a lot of the things that weren't available to me for awhile suddenly were, and now I'm balancing all of the things that I created and started doing during the shutdowns and opening up at the same time and figuring out, okay, how do I balance this? What's most important to me here and keeping this.
[00:10:31] Annual review process in mind was super helpful because knowing that I want to end the year with things that I'm proud of on this list helps me sift and sort, I think very elegantly through the things that weren't a fit and. Not in every case, say goodbye to them, but in a lot of the cases, it was much easier to say, oh, I think I'm done with this now because I was able to see it in the context of the big picture of my world.
[00:11:05] Shawn: It's so important. As you said to look back, especially after, you know, the last couple of years where things have been, you know, the world has changed and. It's easy to go along with the common narrative of wow. COVID has really been shit. And it's really been something that's shut down the world and my God, how's my blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:11:26] Rebecca: It really depends on who you are. Right. Because a lot of people had the best years of their life during COVID.
[00:11:31] Shawn: W what did you tell me that you'd learned computer skills, you know, or you can look at it in the year in review, and you can say, this is, this is what was. Yeah. Here's some of the, here's some of the great things that happen.
[00:11:43] Some of the things that I did. So the people that I got to hang out with, like you say, some of the things that I got to let go of, um, there's a lot of good stuff that can happen in any
[00:11:50] Rebecca: year. Yeah, definitely. And I think, uh, another piece that was really powerful for. Especially recently was not just putting the things that I am proud of on there.
[00:12:00] Not just the things that I've accomplished, but the things that happened that I had to navigate. Right. So there were a couple of different times where I broke things and broke body parts and ended up having to heal from those and a part of my. Rigid perfectionist brain had originally looked at those months as, yeah.
[00:12:23] That was another waste. Didn't really get to do anything. All I got to do was heal. I didn't get to do all these things that I like. Oh wait, but what else did I do? I, yes. I learned some new resiliency skills. Right. I learned how to do a lot more things. Left-handed right. Learn to walk on crutches properly.
[00:12:38] So yeah. Reminding myself that it's not all about the achievements. It's about who we become on the way. And that's what I'm really looking for here. The achievements helped me tap into that and they remind me where this stuff came from. But it's really about who I have become on the way
[00:12:57] Shawn: when you said all I get to do is heal.
[00:12:59] I kind of chuckled. It reminds me of somebody saying, you know, I'm just. And I do. I'm just listening and you know, it's like that, that there's nothing, there's no such thing as just listening to somebody. There's no such thing as just healing. Like, as you said, like you learned resiliency, you learn how to do things in a different way.
[00:13:14] You learned that you learned, uh, who, who are the people around you that are true, true supports you learned, what do you need? You know, what do you bring to them? Even though you're in this state that you know, where you're not as mobile, as typically as you typically are as a whole bunch of stuff, there's nothing, no such thing as.
[00:13:31] Paul was doing it's just healing. Yeah. Yeah. Or just listening. There's a couple of things that I appreciate about having an, any lower review. One of them is just the practice in the acknowledgment. In the past, I've operated a lot in co-dependence type relationships. I've had a superhero complex Superman complex where, you know, I get into something into a relationship, particularly with, let me get into relationship because I can save them or because I think they need saving, which is.
[00:14:00] 99% of the time just ridiculousness. And it was how I operated. I know this past year I had, I had a situation come up where a, a lady was complaining about something in, and I acknowledged that I acknowledged what she was going through. And I, you know, I felt bad for her for an extent, to an extent. And I came away from it going, wow, that was a spot where I could have saved somebody
[00:14:24] MUSIC: and I didn't want to.
[00:14:28] Shawn: So the whole, the whole idea, and that's the kind of acknowledgement that, that isn't, I'm telling you, that's incremental growth. This started when. 15 and saving my mom. You know, or younger than that and saving my sisters, you know? So, I mean, what am I 23, 24 years old now. So it's been a lifelong pattern.
[00:14:45] Rebecca: I got to say, Sean, you don't look fat grades time.
[00:14:49] You don't think so. Yeah. I love you very much
[00:14:53] MUSIC: treated
[00:14:53] Shawn: you well, so
[00:14:55] Rebecca: you look great for 45 minutes.
[00:14:57] Shawn: That's good. So a lifelong pattern and something that just having the practice of acknowledging where I've changed, kind of made me light up and go, oh wow. There's something that I can now put in the past.
[00:15:10] You know, like I'm not the guy that has a Superman complex.
[00:15:13] Rebecca: Damn. That is big growth. Like, think about how that's going to affect all of the rest of your future.
[00:15:21] Shawn: That's right. And like we talked about, you know, like I said earlier, the child that's growing over a year time. Years of growth. And so it's something that, you know, may not have really gone notice.
[00:15:33] It's just a new way of operating in my neutral. Yeah. Had I not had the practice may not have actually had the self
[00:15:41] MUSIC: knowledge about it. Yeah.
[00:15:43] Rebecca: You know what that reminds me. There's a story. That one, I think Abraham Hicks talks about it a little bit as a farmer older farmer and he's lifting. Kath over a sense every day in order to take the calf out to get food or whatever.
[00:16:03] I don't know. Y you you'd have a door and a fence. I don't know why he's lifting, but if he's lifting the calf every day over the phone, For an entire year, a calf gets quite big, but he's getting incrementally stronger every single day. So he finds it natural and easy to keep up with it.
[00:16:21] Shawn: And eventually he still has to build a gate because it's a 1200 pound cow now.
[00:16:24] But,
[00:16:25] Rebecca: and then he's like, well, maybe I should've did that. Not from the beginning.
[00:16:29] MUSIC: Yeah. That's what I do. I can, all of a sudden
[00:16:30] Shawn: I was like, oh, there's the gate. I don't have to be Superman anymore.
[00:16:33] MUSIC: Nice. It
[00:16:34] Rebecca: doesn't walk through that. Just walked through it. Yeah. That's lovely. And I love that this is the cap on this playlist because we can look at, okay, what new patterns have we created this year?
[00:16:45] What new patterns have we lived into that were different than we had before? I know I've had quite a few of those new patterns show up and it's pretty cool. It's cool to see it and to be like, oh my gosh, I have no idea what's happening next. I haven't lifted this before in any other relationship, this isn't another face, another name kind of thing.
[00:17:03] This is two. Wow. I guess I have all the choices I can do anything.
[00:17:10] Shawn: So seeing as how you're 23 as well. I think that that's something you do a little more than I'm too old for that what's the feeling that, you know, shifted inside you between where you were and where you are now. Oh,
[00:17:22] Rebecca: you know, I think it's that identity piece.
[00:17:25] At some point, my identity was just, I'm a really fun, interesting person, and I want to experience different things with different people and Hey, let's check this out. It, there was no cost to me at all of going out on a ton with someone who didn't want to be seen with me in certain situations. And I, like, I understood it felt completely rational and normal.
[00:17:46] And now, and in that experience in particular, we happened to be at a restaurant that I used to go to with my. Well, I was married and it was one of his favorite places. He and I had gone there to celebrate the holidays a couple of times. And what I realized was I was almost as embarrassed to be seen with someone that couldn't be seen with me as they were afraid of.
[00:18:12] What they had thought had happened and yeah, I guess it's that, that's what that means to me. I'm too old for that. I don't want to be pulling the wool over anybody's eyes and why I'm pretty cool as it is. I don't need to pretend to be any different. And if they're, if they don't, that's okay. That's up to them.
[00:18:32] That's the level that they're willing to be open and communicative with the people that matter to them, but it no longer works for them.
[00:18:39] Shawn: Exactly. And for me, it was almost what that experience. It was almost like a new identification. Like I I've said in the past, like I can get pretty good at it. And relationships are set in the past.
[00:18:49] I've got a Superman complex on that day. At that moment that changed. Did you have an experience like that to,
[00:18:55] Rebecca: oh my gosh. Yeah. I've had a lot of experiences like that. I talked about one of those experiences in the boudoir episode. I think that's 97 where I had this recognition of oh shit. Okay. Just a podcast or I'm an athlete and I'm an athlete first, I'm an athlete and a dancer, then a podcast or that accord is in.
[00:19:13] And wow, that changed the meaning of my world quite a lot. But I've also had that in a lot of relationships. You know, there was an experience recently where I was out with a client and we were out on the town and it was this big holiday celebration and something happened and they had an interesting reaction that lit something up in me and I realized.
[00:19:36] Oh, I'm a different person now than when I started this industry. And what happened was that they thought they saw someone that would recognize them. And they were with me. They are not supposed to be out on the town with which, you know, people have good reasons for lying to their partners about what they're doing.
[00:19:54] And I'm not going to judge that. I am going to say it felt so weird to be in this city. Like I think when I first started doing this work, Going out on the city with strangers, I felt completely normal. But in that moment, on that night, it felt like I'm here in this amazing club in this city that I love.
[00:20:18] And that loves me. This is my home. This is a place that I have put a lot of my effort and energy into that. I want to keep doing it and someone doesn't want to be seen with me. Oh fuck. No, I'm too old for that. Not just, I'm too old for that. I would never put up with that in my personal life. And so it was this moment of, ah, shit.
[00:20:40] Okay. I guess I can't go out in public anymore with people that are not okay with being seen with me. And that just changed that's that's who I had become. And that was me recognizing it. I'm too old
[00:20:53] MUSIC: for that.
[00:20:54] Shawn: Would you say that it's a measure of like a, you have a different sense of value of yourself now than before?
[00:21:03] Rebecca: I think some of it has value, but I wouldn't say that I didn't value myself before. I think it was just that it didn't cost me anything before. I wouldn't say that I didn't value myself before. I would say that I was aiming at something different initially. And that's why the value thing didn't come up.
[00:21:23] It didn't create any friction. It just didn't matter at the time
[00:21:28] Shawn: that's an important piece. Like aiming is something different, I think is a great way to say it because that morphs and shifts throughout our life. And so something that may have been just fine before is not fine now. And that's all part of the, our part of the growth process.
[00:21:43] And so being able to acknowledge just where I'm going with that, being able to acknowledge and honor the growth that we've done and to say that's okay. That things are different now.
[00:21:51] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of wisdom and power. Yeah.
[00:21:55] MUSIC: Part
[00:21:56] Shawn: of what I like about this work of recognize is also that, that piece, the self-affirmation piece.
[00:22:03] And so piece of that for me, is in, in recognizing these things, these different changes as is the self-affirmation of, you know, this is who I am now and not just self-affirmation, but self-affirmation from a perspective of non non-judgment. From a perspective of, this is the great stuff that I've
[00:22:22] MUSIC: figured out so far, so far.
[00:22:25] Shawn: Yeah. And that's subject to change absolutely.
[00:22:28] Rebecca: Next year. Hopefully it will change. It will grow and shift. You know, one of the other things that I really love about this process that I find so much value in is. I sit down and I recognize myself as I am. You know, that honest, sometimes hard look, but you're usually, it's just an honest, genuine, authentic.
[00:22:52] Reality-based look at myself, especially over time. I've noticed this to be true, which is why I'm a lot braver now at stepping up and saying what matters to me. But what I've found is that. Over time. The more I show people who I am, the more possibility there is of being accepted for who I am and realizing that until I'm willing to share something with someone, there's no way they can.
[00:23:23] Love me for it or in spite of it or any of that. Right. And being in a line of work for the last decade, that is not always socially acceptable as given me a lot of incentive to create. Uh, stability for myself to know that I am following what matters to me. I'm following my own code of ethics, whether or not other people agree with it.
[00:23:50] It's still something that matters that I'm in integrity with myself and being able to see that and share that with other people allows me to be accepted. And without that, you can't hide who you are from. And ever really feel accepted and left. So, you know, I think this really, really matters
[00:24:15] Shawn: right. In, in that sort of the self-reflection that you're talking about, the being accepted by others.
[00:24:20] That's the juice, that's the relationships, that's the, that's the juicy relationships, the close ones, the ones that, the ones that we really, you know, gain something from whether it's polyamorous relationships or monogamous relationships. Uh, romantic
[00:24:33] Rebecca: or non-romantic
[00:24:34] Shawn: or romantic. Exactly. Yes. It's any, any time that we want a true, genuine connection with somebody else has to start with a true, genuine connection with ourself.
[00:24:43] And this process of taking a look at ourselves periodically helps us to keep on top of who we are and therefore helps us to be able to get more and more genuine relationships.
[00:24:54] Rebecca: Yeah. And you know, there's another skill that this has helped me develop on and. We useful one worth mentioning is that skill of discernment versus judgment.
[00:25:04] Right? So I'm definitely got a bit of a rigid perfectionist mind sometimes. And I could use this kind of experiment to trigger myself as to like, well, we're good, but you didn't get done. Look at how far you've, you know, you miss the market, what you were aiming at. So recognizing that when I do this process, I'm going into.
[00:25:26] Choosing to have a light of discernment instead of judgment. I'm going in there saying, I want to see what's real and see, what's true about myself and about my life. And in order to judge something, you have to create a story around it. And if you can let yourself not create the story or at least not repeat the stories that you've had created in your head the entire time, because they've always been there right there.
[00:25:49] They're sitting there. If they're active, they're sitting there regularly and coming up in your brain. But recognizing that that's not the place for that. This is not the place to decide whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong. This is the place to look at accurately, clearly who have I become and why does it matter?
[00:26:07] Shawn: It's so important to set the three texts
[00:26:10] MUSIC: as that. Yeah.
[00:26:12] Shawn: This is capital N O T an opportunity, not an opportunity to beat oneself up. And this is only an opportunity to gain. And which is also doing this once a year is also a great practice for doing this every day. You know, I get that. We all make mistakes.
[00:26:28] We're all at times ashamed of the things that we've done, we would love to do it better. And the best way to do that is through gaining really clear discernment of what happened. How can I do it better next time instead of the there's th there's just no, nothing good that comes out of.
[00:26:45] MUSIC: Hell.
[00:26:46] Rebecca: Yes. All right.
[00:26:47] Couldn't have said it better myself. And you know, the other thing that I found is really cool about this process is that as I update my internal view of myself as my internal identity shifts and changes and grows, hopefully. I start to notice things. Sometimes there are opportunities that have always been there.
[00:27:11] And sometimes they're things that just show up out of the blue that I'm like, if someone had asked me to do this a week ago, I would have been like, no, what are you talking about? I'm not qualified for that. Right. I don't, I'm not interested in that. Hang on. But now that I've taken a few moments and reassessed and looked at things a little bit differently, Sometimes those opportunities that show up whether they're work opportunities or often relationship opportunities, different people are suddenly attracted me.
[00:27:40] People that would help me fulfill those old patterns that I'm stepped out of. Now I lose track of them or they lose track of me or just disappear off the radar somehow, or even better. We end up creating a whole new pattern together, which I find to be most sad. But oftentimes people will just not be imagining more and then they'll move on.
[00:28:01] That can be its own kind of lovely, right. Being able to be in each other's lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. It's pretty cool. In particularly with romantic relationships, I feel like the new people that show. Are so different. I don't necessarily know how to react to them anymore because his old patterns that were my normal no longer apply.
[00:28:23] Now what's my normal, I don't know. It's a blank slate. Let's find out. Let's see what the new normal is for this. Let's see how connected we can be, how much we can support each other and what that looks like. And especially outside of codependency. Dependency is awesome. I,
[00:28:40] Shawn: 100% of them are part of that.
[00:28:43] Somebody asked me like, what would it be like to date somebody they didn't need saving,
[00:28:49] right? I mean, this is an entirely new concept, you know? It's and it sounds liberating actually. You know, it sounds, it sounds like a normal, healthy relationship and something that I can get excited about rather than actually, like you were saying, attracting a woman that does need saving when a man is putting it or a man or a woman, but when a person is putting.
[00:29:08] The energy of, I am a superhero and I'm here to help. They attract the people that says I need a superhero and I need help versus, um, versus the opposite.
[00:29:18] Rebecca: Yeah. And for someone like me, if I am open to the beauty of kitchen table, poly, and of the value that my Metamoris and my partners can bring to my other partner.
[00:29:34] There's a whole lot more potential in there, which I'm finding is really playing out in my life right now. Like, I think I told you a little bit earlier, but my my week has been a crazy whirlwind of hanging out with my friends and partners and doing podcast things and dance things. And, you know, we went to the art walk last night with two of my partners and one of their friends.
[00:29:58] And it was just neat to be able to do these completely normal things, but to do. My way with the people that matter to me. And,
[00:30:07] Shawn: yeah, so it seems to me that going through many of the processes and steps and things that we've talked about in this playlist and then doing this evaluation is kind of like the final step in breaking a lot of these patterns.
[00:30:21] Rebecca: Yeah. I think that's a pretty good way of describing it though. I think the final step really is the different choices you make now that you have. I acknowledged, recognized and honored your new identity, right? Has that's that's the end of the pattern and the beginning of the next one,
[00:30:41] Shawn: right? Yeah. And not really final.
[00:30:42] Cause you're doing this every year
[00:30:44] Rebecca: on a periodic basis. However often floats your boat.
[00:30:47] Shawn: Right. There you go. Whatever floods you, but, but you're, you're updating things. You're updating your programs. You're updating your identity identity. You're updating.
[00:30:57] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah, you are really good stuff. And you know, the other thing that I love about this, I know this episode is basically been me saying my favorite thing about this.
[00:31:05] My favorite thing about that, but in the process of recognizing who I've become and how much of a bad-ass I am. I inevitably start to notice who has helped me get there. The people that have been around the people that have helped me change my mind about something, maybe it's just one thought form that gets changed.
[00:31:27] And then all of a sudden there's a whole new world that's opened up for me and not person that put that one new thought form in my head. I value them and they matter a lot. And being able to look back and go, oh yeah, that's where that. Cool. Now I have more appreciation for them more appreciation for myself, more fodder for my gratitude journal or my joy bank.
[00:31:50] Right. And it creates this really beautiful virtuous cycle. So it's the end of the last step in the pattern, but the beginning of the next one, and you can step into the new pattern with all of this joy and resilience that you've. From the last mission that you've been on. Right. It's true. Like a video game, you got all these new points.
[00:32:11] Yeah.
[00:32:12] MUSIC: That
[00:32:12] Shawn: piece of gratefulness. It's so easy to be grateful when I can look back and go, this is how far I've come grateful. Like you said, grateful for the surroundings, grateful for the people. And particularly for me, it's important for me to remember, to be grateful for myself. Yeah. I can look back and say nice workshop.
[00:32:29] That was, I mean, look at what you've done and look at, you know, look at how far you've come. And that's a, that's a really good piece for me.
[00:32:35] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I love it. I love this virtuous cycle of recognizing who we are appreciating stepping forward into something new and seeing what shows up there, because it always surprises me.
[00:32:48] Shawn: And that is how you are helping people create that joyful Pleasure Central life. That, which is why people listen to this.
[00:32:57] Rebecca: I hope so. Yeah. And if you have created something powerful for yourself and you want to share it with somebody. Send us a message we would love to hear and we'd even put it on the show.
[00:33:08] If you want. Nice. Can't wait
[00:33:12] Shawn: or Rebecca. You are truly Radiant. Thank you, Simon. Thank you for the episode. We'll see you next time. Bye.
[00:33:24] Rebecca: Hey, they are Pleasure. Well, that's at first day's conversation here at Pleasure Central Radio. We love using conscious communication, science geekery and copious amounts of true pleasure to improve our partnerships, our money and our love lives. And we hope you do too. If you loved what you heard here, we'd love.
[00:33:46] You can do this easily on podcast players like Spotify and apple podcasts. It only takes a couple of seconds and it's an easy way to help more people discover the show without you having to actually bring it up with them, to hear other episodes of the podcast and get notified immediately. When a new episode is released.
[00:34:03] Follow me on your favorite podcast player. Find out more and get in touch at Pleasure Central Radio. Your thought to ponder today is over time. The more I show people who I am, the more possibility there is of being accepted for who I am and realizing that until I'm willing to share something with someone, there's no way that you can love me for it or in spite of it or any of that.
[00:34:33] Right.