[00:00:00] Megan: Today, we can all talk to Rebecca about the topic of clarity and mental resilience as a business owner. So you are talking to food bloggers. These people here are so hardworking and they're amazing. And sometimes, I don't know. I mean, I think this goes across the board for all entrepreneurs, but in our space, we can get to places where we feel like.

[00:00:29] We're stuck and we need that mental resilience. Otherwise people quit all the time. People get into food blogging, and they're like, this is so much work. So I'm excited to learn from you, Rebecca. Um, yeah, I'll just let you do a quick introduction to yourself and then we can just have a discussion.

[00:00:48] Rebecca: So my name is Rebecca Beltran and I am a podcaster.

[00:00:53] I'm a courtesan. And I consider myself an artist now these days, because my podcast has become so much more art than news podcasting. Uh, I've been an entrepreneur for probably 15, 16 years. Um, ran. Six businesses, most of which failed pretty miserably. So I've got lots of lessons from all of that. One of my first businesses was a web design business, and I noticed that you guys are food bloggers.

[00:01:24] You seem to, I'll have some experience with the challenges of working online and websites or WordPress or whatever it is that you do. So I have a feeling we'll have play in common. I wanted to get just. Brief little introduction so that you can learn more about me, but I'm very open to questions. And I love having this be interactive.

[00:01:43] I think that the, the biggest value in workshops and things like this is being able to interact with each other and inspire each other to new things. So I'd love to hear anything. You have to say, any comments you wanna share, feel free to just unmute yourself. Pop in and say something agreed. So six businesses.

[00:01:59] Megan: Oh my gosh. I don't think I knew that. What were your, yeah. And you guys feel free to chime in this. Isn't just like me and Rebecca talking. I am totally okay. If you interrupt me and you're like, oh, I wanna know whatever. So feel free to do that. What do you think were your biggest lessons? Cuz you said that a lot of them failed and you learned some lessons.

[00:02:21] So what were your
[00:02:21] Rebecca: biggest. You know, I think one of the biggest lessons that I had to learn first was how to be out of sync with the rest of the world. As an entrepreneur, you go from having a nine to five and having weekends like everybody else. And, you know, having certain things that you're thinking about and all of a sudden your concerns and your time and your schedule.
[00:02:45] At odds with other people and at odds with your peers and your community. And so for me, finding ways to develop new peers in community, but still stay, you know, connected to the people that were most important to me was quite a trick. It took me a couple of years to figure that out. And I think it's been interesting this last year over COVID with a bunch of people, all of a sudden being forced to work from home that did not choose.
[00:03:10] Or not used to it and don't know how to deal with it. I've been seeing people coming across, uh, the exact same problems that I was having, you know, how do you be out of sync with everybody else, but still be in sync with yourself? Yeah.
[00:03:24] Megan: And then people I've noticed this too. People are like, how have you done this all these years?
[00:03:28] Because now they're forced to, and they're like, oh, this is the, this is the life Megan was living all along. And they're like, Trying to figure it out. And they're almost in awe of people who have it down. They're like, whoa, how do you do this? How do you not get lonely? How do you not? You know, how do you manage your time?
[00:03:47] And I'm like, well, I've been doing this for a long time. So it is kind of funny to see people coming into that realm. Who've never been there before. So how do you, how do you explain. Being an entrepreneur is to friends and family who are not, I'm always curious about that because that is, has been one of my biggest struggles, trying to explain not only what I do, but like, yeah.
[00:04:15] Like our timelines are so different. Our schedules are so different. So how do you talk about entrepreneurship to people who are not entrepreneurs?
[00:04:26] Rebecca: I usually say something like I am bound and determined to find ways to improve the world and then to go out and do that because that's, that's really what entrepreneurship is about.
[00:04:39] For me. It's about finding a way to improve my life and improve the lives of the people around me and most people that aren't entrepreneurs. Think that we're doing it for other reasons, they don't really realize the core of why we do it. They don't connect with the feeling of freedom that we might get from being our own bosses, because they've never had that.
[00:04:58] Or, you know, the closest thing that they've had to freedom is like getting to take an extra long launch if they want to. But being able to encapsulate that as I'm always looking for ways that I can improve the world and then going out and doing it. Takes all of that and puts it into one little nutshell and then when they can absorb that and wrap their head around, and then we can start to have a productive conversation about what entrepreneurship really is.
[00:05:22] So
[00:05:22] Megan: I love how you frame that so ways to improve the world, because when you think of food blogging, like how could we be improving the world when we're in our worlds for like, am I really, but we are because we're providing quality awesome free by the way, content to anyone who wants it. So. That's an improvement to the world.
[00:05:43] So I love that, um, mindset. So I am curious also about, okay, you had businesses that failed. How did you bounce back? How did you not just get overcome by the failure? I know we all learn from failure. Um, but how did you keep going?
[00:06:03] Rebecca: Oh, I did get overwhelmed by it. every single time I get overwhelmed by it, but I also find that the, it goes back to the, you know, purpose of being an entrepreneur.
[00:06:14] I look for something that I can change in the world, and if I'm trying to change something in the world, even when I fail at it, there's still something that I'm aiming at so I can fail. I can lick my wounds. I can take pause to, to refresh myself and heal and then move back on. But the core reason for why I'm doing it is still there.
[00:06:35] And that's what keeps me being able to come back and have this. I don't wanna say endless, uh, appetite for failure, but this ability to keep moving forward into something else. So, okay. That didn't work. How can we fail forward from here? How can I fail forward from here? Cuz most of my businesses have been just me.
[00:06:53] Um, And I think that's even harder dealing with failure when it's just you. If you have a team of other people and you're failing together, then you can kind of commiserate. But when it's just you and the people around you don't understand why you would even risk something like that. It's, uh, a pretty big challenge.
[00:07:09] But for me, the kinds of differences that I like to make in the world is I like to educate and empower people so that they can have their. The, they can find their own voice and speak it and use it and share it and share it proudly because what I've learned in all of these businesses and these communities that I've built over the years is that we do our best work when we're able to share.
[00:07:36] And celebrate with other people that are also doing things that matter. And when that is in place, there's always some other change in transformation happening under the, the radar. I might have picked the wrong product or the wrong, you know, direction based on what the market wanted. But the core reason is still there.
[00:08:00] So, uh, usually it just means adjusting the business model at some point, rather than getting out of it entirely,
[00:08:08] Megan: the transformation is always happening, right? Like even if to everyone else, it appears like just a big fat failure. We can take all of those little transformations that happen and bring them to our next project or our next venture.
[00:08:24] So I love that. I love that way of looking at it. It's such a cool perspective because we don't always see it like that. We're like, that was the biggest flop ever. And I still talk about things that I've done in my food blogging journey that were just really bad decisions. like my grilled cheese cookbook.
[00:08:42] You guys, I know I've shared that with you. I made a grilled cheese cookbook and it took me six months to make it. Nobody wanted it. So I got done making it and I was like, oh my gosh, everyone's gonna buy this. Here you go. And then like, my mom bought a copy. My husband bought two copies because he felt bad for me.
[00:09:00] And that, like, that was pretty much the extent of it. So that was embarrassing. And it's embarrassing to even talk about it. But I have learned from that. So now everything I do, I. I make sure people actually want what I'm putting out there. So there was a huge lesson there
[00:09:18] Rebecca: you look for the need before you fulfill it.
[00:09:20] Megan: Right. And then you have to also prove the concept. I've never been really good at that. I see a need, but then like you, you also do have to prove that people are going to purchase or come on board, you know? So I learned from all of those experiences, So what else, what other lessons do you have Rebecca that you've, um, learned throughout your journey?
[00:09:45] So how long have you been an entrepreneur? Did you say over 10 years?
[00:09:50] Rebecca: Yeah, I think I started my first business when I was 22 and I'm 39, so 17 years. Okay. So yeah, quite a
[00:09:58] Megan: while. So you probably have some awesome wisdom to impart. We wanna
[00:10:02] Rebecca: hear. All right. So here's another piece of wisdom that somebody else gave me that I didn't take right away, that I've taken sense.
[00:10:10] And it's probably the best piece of business advice I've ever been given my business is there to serve me, not the other way around my business is there to serve me not the other way around. Yes. Our businesses are about service. And we're not meant to be automaton sitting there, checking off boxes, trying to make our business profitable.
[00:10:35] We're building lives for ourselves that we can be happy with and thrive in. And when I run all of the decisions that I make for my business through that will middle filter. Is this me working for my business or is this my business working for me? One, it gives me a different perspective on everything because so few business books and other things out there will tell you that most of them they're like, no, you gotta find your profit.
[00:11:02] You gotta find the market. You gotta find the demand and then go out and do it right. You gotta be persistent and determined and go and do the thing. But persistence and determination without joy and Pleasure. That's a recipe for an empty gas tank at some. You've gotta be able to refill your gas tank.
[00:11:21] And if your business is serving you every day, you're constantly refilling your gas tank. That is so
[00:11:28] Megan: good persistence without and determination without joy and Pleasure. What's the point, right? That's that's why most of us start this journey of food blogging is because we see other people achieving those freedoms that we want too.
[00:11:44] But if we're not finding joy or Pleasure in it, What is the point. And I think we've all gotten to that point. Can everyone here say they have? I know I have like, at least once a year, some years, even more, I get to the point where I'm like, what am I doing? I, like you said, Rebecca, I is my business working.
[00:12:03] Is it there for me? Or or am I a slave to my business? Is it controlling me? So just doing that check in. How often do you check in about that? Or how often do you need to? I feel like da, uh,
[00:12:15] Rebecca: yeah, I think daily is a really good idea. I, I was given that piece of advice 14 years ago and I, I don't do it daily, not even monthly.
[00:12:26] And I probably should because I wake up on a regular basis going like, wait, do I have to do this today? One of the ways that I've built in like an automatic check for myself is if I'm doing five things every week or more, that I don't really enjoy that I don't really wanna be doing. Then I need to pause and go, wait a second.
[00:12:45] What can I adjust or change here? Sometimes it means I need a new team member to take over some things, but a lot of times it's really just, I have convinced myself that I'm supposed to be doing something that I don't really like. And if I don't really like it, it's probably not bringing me the results that I'm hoping for.
[00:13:02] Anyway. So when I look at it critically through that lens, it usually changes what I decide to leave on my to-do list. And when I decide to. You're so wise,
[00:13:13] Megan: such wise words,
[00:13:16] Rebecca: like I said, 17 years fan bring you a lot of wisdom. .
[00:13:20] Megan: And where do you find your inspiration? Like if you're having a week where everything, like you said, there are things that you're just not finding joy in, or maybe you have a week where you're not inspired or creative.
[00:13:32] Where do you pull inspiration
[00:13:34] Rebecca: from? I tend to pull inspiration from, uh, letters and testimonials and things that people, people are written for me. So one of the projects that I heard had early on was a community on meetup.com, which I helped build. And back then meetup would encourage everyone. They would prompt everyone after every meeting to write a, Hey, this is what was.
[00:13:56] About this meeting and about this group. And so they would write these testimonials and not everyone would write 'em, but occasionally people would. And so we kind of developed this repository of huge testimonials of things that people were getting outta the media, and that was all stored on their website.
[00:14:11] But I started doing that for myself too. I started grabbing like stories that people would tell during our group zoom calls or, uh, some. Like emails that people would send me that would say, Hey, this is the effect that I've had on you. I would remind myself of people that I've made a difference for. Like, there's a, there's a woman who started coming to one of my money classes, probably six or seven years ago.
[00:14:36] I ended up hiring her on my team as a house cleaner within like a week. And then we've worked together on. For six years, I've later off once I fired her once. Um, and what we've done together has changed. Who she is and the effect that she's let me have on her life and where we both are. Now, every time I look at that, I'm like, oh yeah, that's why I'm doing this.
[00:15:03] This is, this is what matters. I'm making difference in someone's life. She's more empowered. She's got more business acumen and stability than she's ever had. She's willing to go and move now so much has changed for her. And I can see how much of it was me. Um, and not all me. Of course, it's her life. She comes to my class and she learns this and then she applies it and then this changes, right.
[00:15:25] So I try and keep track of those things cuz that's what really motivates me making an impact on other people and making a positive impact, uh, in the direction that I wanna make. So yeah.
[00:15:36] Megan: So that aligns with like exactly what you said in the beginning. Exactly. Why you do this? I think I wrote it down, but yeah.
[00:15:43] To educate and empower people all the time. Yeah. Yeah. So just going back to that, I think. Super important. How many of you, I'm curious cuz I don't do this, but I think that is such a great idea to, um, write down the things that people say to you that are actually inspiring. I get emails occasionally where people are like, thank you for.
[00:16:06] You know, providing this food or whatever, on, on my podcast side, like thank you for your podcast. It's done this for my business. And it always makes me feel so good. Like to the point of getting teary. And I read it, I, I read every single one a couple of times, cause I just wanna like take it in and, and like really feel it, but then I don't keep it.
[00:16:29] And why I should, I should keep those and then go back. I love that idea. I'm gonna start doing that. Does anyone else here do that? I mean, do you guys get feedback from your audience saying Naja, your Panamanian food made was the star of the party? Like, and what do you do with that? I'm just curious what you guys.
[00:16:49] If you're like me and you just, I guess
[00:16:51] Rebecca: I, I I'm just like you, I read it obviously at the moment I read it, I get super pumped up. I'm motivated and that keep me going. And then afterwards, when, for example, um, this week, On the Masterman call we had, I had like a breakdown
[00:17:10] Megan: oh, I really, you know, I mean,
[00:17:13] Rebecca: yeah.
[00:17:14] And then I'm I'm so yesterday I took it like slowly and then now that you're talking about it, I should maybe go back in there and read those comments, those posts, and just, you know, go back to the, the, the way it was before. Yeah, because I
[00:17:33] Megan: think especially as food bloggers, we get to that point so often where we're like, why am I doing this?
[00:17:40] This is so much work. And I am investing so much of myself in order to create this content that Google doesn't even care about. Nobody sees it on Pinterest. You know, it's like, it can be really frustrating. So like Rebecca, does you go back to your why you're doing it to educate and empower people. So just finding the reason you do it in the first place.
[00:18:01] and then getting reminders that you are actually educating and empowering people. So I'm gonna start doing that, Rebecca. Thank you. I'm gonna set up like a little Google drive or something where I just put all of that on my down days. I can go back and look, I think that is such.
[00:18:18] Rebecca: Great idea. I call it my love bank.
[00:18:20] Megan: Oh, the love bank. Oh my gosh. I'm writing that down. That's so great.
[00:18:25] Rebecca: And the love bank is the coolest kind of bank account. You can put infinite amount of love in and all of the love you take out the bottom line. Doesn't go down at all. So. Oh, my
[00:18:35] Megan: goodness. That's awesome. The love bank. I think we all need a love
[00:18:40] Rebecca: bank, right?
[00:18:41] Yes. Yes. Another thing that I've, I've found really helpful, um, which might be helpful for you as well, because making an impact matters so much to me. If I put a bunch of content out and I don't hear anything back from the outside world, which is bloggers, it's probably more often than not the case as well.
[00:19:00] It's for a podcaster. Uh, I find. That is really disheartening. So I decided. Hm, two years ago, I wanted to have someone else listen to my podcast episodes before I put it out. So I, I created a small group of people who I know and trust and who I would have these kinds of awesome conversations with anyway.
[00:19:21] And I will ask them to be beta listeners for me. So I'll send them the episode, have them listen, and then share some feedback with me. So one, I'm getting to continue the conversation. I'm not feeling so isolated over here as a podcaster out in the middle of nowhere, doing things all on my own, but I'm also getting to have, uh, a more direct experience of how this is going to impact other people because in my beta questionnaires, there's things like, you know, did you have any ahas in this episode?
[00:19:51] If so, What's changed for you. Right. And for me, that really, really helps. It helps being able to ask people what they think about it, to get their feedback and to know that everything that I'm putting out there is not just sitting on the internet, waiting for some random person to come along or not
[00:20:10] Megan: like wondering what they think if they do land on it, what are they thinking?
[00:20:13] Nobody's telling me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you do that for every podcast episode you put.
[00:20:19] Rebecca: Nearly. Yeah, there's a couple that I don't want anybody to hear until I put it out. yeah. Um, but for the most part, I deal with nearly every episode
[00:20:29] Megan: that is such a great idea. And that's a good reason to have just a close group of people that you trust because you obviously trust their opinion or you wouldn't.
[00:20:39] Yeah. Put it in their hands. Yeah. , but that's a great idea for blog posts. Right? What do you guys think about that? Because I pump out content like crazy right now I'm doing a lot of republishing. So it's like redoing old content, but I put out five blog posts a week and I have no idea what people are thinking of those blog posts.
[00:21:00] So just even a few a week to run it by you guys and say, Naja, what do you think. This and your aha thing was good. So did you have any ahas? What else do you ask? What other feedback do you like to
[00:21:14] Rebecca: get? Uh, I'll tell you real quick. I wrote all of my questions down and they're on my phone so I can ask anyone.
[00:21:20] And at any time , uh, so I ask five questions. I ask, what did you see as the overall theme of this episode? Were there any fuck yeah. Moments for you? If so, what moment was it? Are there any details you wish we had expanded upon. did you have any self realizations listening to this conversation and what in your life has improved because of this episode?
[00:21:47] That's good. And
[00:21:47] Megan: I think we could alter it a little bit with. You know, cause a podcast episode is different than a recipe post, but I like that idea
[00:21:58] Rebecca: and important thing to think about if you're gonna be asking other people for feedback is what is your level of being able to take that feedback gracefully?
[00:22:07] Cause if you're going to ask for feedback for something before you publish it and then somebody doesn't like. Are you gonna change the whole thing? Are you gonna adjust it for me? I take, I listen to all of the feedback and I take a third of it. Maybe half of it and some of it I'm just like, yeah. That's, that's not gonna be helpful at all for this episode.
[00:22:28] Yeah. Um, but. Putting a post out before you. So I, I also only share the conversation, so I don't share the entire episode. I don't share the, the intro and the outro, whatever else goes in the middle. I'm only sharing the conversation interview piece with my beta listeners. and that means there's less editing and things for me to do.
[00:22:50] Cuz if I do wanna change something, I don't wanna have to go back and change it again. Now that I've already edited it, but I end up sharing it with people in, uh, a Google drive link instead of on my website. So you might wanna try that to share it a little bit differently than you would normally. But another thing is you guys are food bloggers.
[00:23:12] So maybe you have someone nearby that you can make this for and then share it with them and like take over some yummy new lunch recipe to a mom that, you know, and sit with her over lunch. So she doesn't have to make it. She gets to taste tests. She gets to share with her kids. She gets some time off then you're, you're get, you're getting something in return too.
[00:23:35] Right?
[00:23:37] Megan: Yeah, my husband's so nice. I can make anything for him and he'd be like, this is so good. Really my boys on the other hand are very much, they're very honest, but they're very selective. So I like the idea of like bringing it to a neighbor or just seeing those opportunities outside of our homes where we.
[00:23:57] Share. So we're like killing a bunch of birds with one stone. So we're sharing something. We're also getting feedback and we're also making a recipe. So three, three things in one. Do you have any people that you share it with Rebecca who, who are really nice and who are like, uh, it's it's great. or is everybo, is everyone brutally honest with.
[00:24:17] Rebecca: I pick who I'm sharing it with based on what kind of feedback I want. So I intentionally pick people as my beta listeners that are gonna be pretty honest, like, yeah, there's probably four or five people that if there's something off about it, they're gonna tell me, and that's gonna be the first thing outta the mouth.
[00:24:34] The next time we talk, which is great. I want that. But yeah, I don't, I don't send those episodes to, I don't send episodes to those people every single time.
[00:24:45] Megan: That's cool. I love it. I'm gonna try that. Okay. What else do you have for us as far as clarity? Because clarity is the big piece of it for us. Like, I hear this all the time.
[00:24:58] People are like, I don't know what I need to do next. How do I find clarity? That's a huge stumbling block for food bloggers. So do you have any tips or advice for
[00:25:09] Rebecca: that? Yeah, I do. Uh, and. This zoom call right now, it looks like we're all women here. This is not only for women. And this is a powerful thing that I've learned as a woman in business, that there are two ways of being successful.
[00:25:24] There's the go out and get way. And then there's the shine and receive way and go out and get is very, very masculine. And it requires a lot of energy from me. Just not necessarily a bad thing. It's important to have that go out and get sometimes however, the shine and receive way is a way that we're not really.
[00:25:46] Taught about or educated about in our business culture, especially partially the fact that I'm, you know, a cortisone that's what helps me open up to this, the fact that I can just sit back and receive and enjoy, and the fact that my enjoyment and my satisfaction create this beacon of light that attracts people that wanna be around that.
[00:26:07] And that's a game changing realization. And it builds upon the other one. You know, my business is there to serve me, not the other way around once I learned to serve me and then to let what I'm providing for myself. Shine through in my face and in my work and in my energy. And, uh, to allow that Pleasure to fuel me, then I completely changed the equation.
[00:26:34] I started becoming a match to people who were way more interested in helping me become even more shiny . So they were wanting to give even more things to me, but also I, because in order to shine, I had to put more and more of my focus on what I did want instead of on what I didn't want. and that shift in that equation that shifted my focus changed the way I was presenting myself in the world.
[00:27:01] And it meant that more people were, uh, curious about why I was so happy. And I think that's a pretty good thing. If you can get people curious about you, then all you have to do is charge them when they.
[00:27:21] Megan: That is so awesome. Cheyne receive. Do, do you feel this too? Like, I don't know if I would call it masculine.
[00:27:29] No, I wouldn't. Cuz it goes both ways, but the more you like clinging to things, you know, things that you want, the less likely they are to come to you. And if you just kinda let it go in this, um, have this attitude of. Providing value. And like you say, Rebecca shining to people that things come to you in business so much more easily.
[00:27:55] I found that too, when I can just like stop clinging desperately to something that I want and just being a light. Then it's like magic. It's seriously. It's like the best thing ever, but traffic. So getting traffic to our blogs is really important for us because that's how we make money. That's how people make really good money.
[00:28:17] And I feel like this is something that so many of us, myself included at certain points, just clinging to, and we look at the numbers every day and we're constantly obsessing about analytics. And when we can just kinda let that go. Numbers actually start coming. Does anyone else have experience with this?
[00:28:37] This happened to me a few years ago. I used to sit on my couch upstairs and for hours every day, I would look at my Google analytics and I'd be like 34 people on, oh, now there's 44. Oh, there's 54 now. And like for hours, I'm like, what am I doing? . And when I stopped doing that, I noticed that things just started getting better with my traffic.
[00:29:02] so it's simple. I mean, it's like the simple equation, but it's so hard to actually do that.
[00:29:09] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. Well, it it's interesting because it feels hard at first. It feels hard because it feels counterintuitive. It feels hard because it feels like no, I should be doing all of these things to get more traffic.
[00:29:19] But the honest truth is there's nothing more attractive than someone that is honestly, truly enjoying the. Think about that. Who do you wanna spend time with? Who do you wanna spend your money on? Someone who's enjoying themselves or someone who's got their head down going? Where's my analytics .
[00:29:37] Megan: Yeah, for sure.
[00:29:39] I did not enjoy. I was not enjoying myself obsessing over analytics. Okay. I just wanna see your hands if you have, or do obsess over analytics. Anyone here. Okay. Yes. Awesome. Gina's like, Nope, I've got it. good. I think that's really healthy and something that we have to evolve through. it's all about the numbers.
[00:30:04] Like everyone tells you that social media too. Why, why do you have so few Instagram followers or, I mean, there's like numbers everywhere that follow us through our journeys. And it's so hard to not look at them, but once you get to a place where you're not doing that anymore, for me, it was like, Oh, this is great because things start coming to you and people start coming to you.
[00:30:26] And like you said, Rebecca people actually wanna hang around me because I'm not obsessing and I'm actually shining and I want to truly wanna add value to other people's lives. So. All right. I wanna hear more from you enough from why am I talking? Goodness. I'm sorry. You guys . Um,
[00:30:43] Rebecca: I like your stories. Oh,
[00:30:45] Megan: thanks.
[00:30:46] So we wanna hear more because you have had so many businesses and you've been an entrepreneur for 17 years. What other lessons do you have to impart to us? What things keep you are going. Share some wisdom.
[00:31:04] Rebecca: Oh, okay. Here's a good one. This is one of my favorite things. When I want to increase my appointments or increase, however I'm bringing money or clients in my world, uh, it's called a rampage of appreciation.
[00:31:18] and I find it's easiest to do when I'm already in a pretty good state. So maybe I'll like go out for a walk along the beach or something and get feeling pre pretty good before I do this. But then when you're ready to do it, uh, I will set a timer for five minutes and I'll either write or I'll speak out loud.
[00:31:36] Anything that I'm appreciating about anything connected to my business. And I remember doing this. Five years ago, six years ago. And I was just appreciating everything that happens in sessions with people. I was appreciating the intimacy and the connection and the laughter and the play and the comfort, and you know, how nice it is to be appreciated by somebody and how nice it was to get to know somebody new, just appreciating all of these little things.
[00:32:06] Uh, and I'll, I'll keep adding to this a little bit. So you'll kind of feel the momentum growing. I would. Like appreciate knowing that when I stepped out of my apartment that morning, I was gonna be able to make somebody smile and that getting to meet another person. One on one meant that I was going to get to hear some stories I'd never heard before and get to open myself to a new side of life that I've never seen before.
[00:32:34] I might get to make somebody. And one way or another, I'm going to get to enjoy myself. I'm going to be in my own body. And that's, that always feels good. Right. So I just would activate all of these things that felt good about working. And you'll notice that when I'm talking about this, I'm not talking about how few clients I have.
[00:32:54] There's none of that. There's none of the negative, uh, or. Stuck energy. It's just appreciation. Just appreciating what I have, just appreciating what
[00:33:03] Megan: I have. So how would you take something? Like if somebody here is like, has very minimal traffic, because that is a big thing with us, how would you reframe that?
[00:33:14] Like I have, I went to Google analytics and there are five people looking at my site right now. That's depressing. There are five
[00:33:21] Rebecca: people looking at your site right now. There are five people whose lives. You have an opportunity to be making a difference in right now. I just need
[00:33:33] Megan: you in my ear all the time.
[00:33:35] I need you to chat with me.
[00:33:37] Rebecca: it's the comparison to other people that makes it feel bad. Right? Yeah, really? That is, it's not the comparison to other people.
[00:33:47] Megan: It's a comparison to what I perceive their checkbook looks like compared
[00:33:50] Rebecca: to mine. yes. Yes. I really that's. That's
[00:33:57] Megan: for, I would for five.
[00:34:02] Rebecca: Hey that's
[00:34:02] Megan: yeah, I love that.
[00:34:04] Rebecca: I celebrate five, so I really, I mean that, like I do. Way to go, Lori.
[00:34:11] Megan: That's awesome. Lori. So even one, right? I mean like Rebecca, your whole thing, I keep looking like you, your whole thing is to educate and empower people. And if you can go back to that, well, there's one person here and you're educating and empowering them and kind of like, you know, maybe putting yourself into their world.
[00:34:31] Okay. They're looking at my meatloaf recipe. That's exciting. Maybe they're gonna make it for dinner tonight. And who are they making dinner for? And creating a story could reframe all of that for me. So if you see like 40 people are on your site. Oh my gosh. That's the that's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. That's not
[00:34:48] Rebecca: nothing.
[00:34:49] Yeah, it is. There's another game that I played with a lot of my coaching people in my community. We call it wow. Seven minutes of wow. And it's a fun way of you. You kind of already have to be feeling pretty good before you jump into this cuz otherwise you'll. Terry yourself a new one. Um, excuse me. But if you start out in a good feeling place and then you set a timer and this is good to do with other people with a group of one or two, uh, but you can also do by yourself.
[00:35:17] So I set a timer for seven minutes, and then I talk about something that I want to have happened as if it already has happened. and that kind of tricks your brain into being like, oh no, there's, there's a pathway forward. That could be really satisfying for me. And when you're doing this, make it as good as you can remember, this is your imagination.
[00:35:37] There's no need to make any concessions or any compromises here just. Enjoy the potential and enjoy it as if it's already happened. And it does a couple of really cool things. One, it helps you detach from whether or not it actually does happen because as much as we think that putting out a vision of what we want will make us disappointed.
[00:36:00] If that vision doesn't show up, it also opens us up to the possibility of this or something better. Right. So it creates pathways towards that feeling that you generated, whether or not the actual experience that you imagined happens to give you that feeling or not, you'll still be headed in the direction of the feeling.
[00:36:19] So when you wanna feel excited and confident, then talk and speak about things that make you feel excited and confident. So yeah, doing the seven minutes of wow is a fun way for me to, to connect with that. And you, you kind of started out with that already. Like, well, there's five people on my site. What if they're making lasagna tonight?
[00:36:39] What if tomorrow they write me an email saying, oh my God, this is the best lasagna I've ever had. I think it's become our new family. Favorite. or what, if you get an email from someone in another country going, my family's Thanksgiving I favorite is now one of your recipes we've been doing it for three years.
[00:36:56] You had no idea that we were listening and reading your blog this whole time, but we have been thank you. Right? So some of that, uh, love bank you can make up for yourself. That's such
[00:37:08] Megan: an awesome exercise. I love that you do that. And then you said, To kinda trick your mind like this or something better. So not like this or something worse, either this awesome thing or even better, which opens up so much opportunity.
[00:37:24] That's so great. How often do
[00:37:25] Rebecca: you do that? The swallowing. I I've gone through periods where I will swallow every week with a couple of different partners. And that's super fun. If you have someone in your group, that's willing to do that with you or like two people. Uh, that's really fantastic. A weekly swag group.
[00:37:44] Two other people really fun. Um, and you only need half an hour to do it. Cause we each get seven minutes to talk and then three minutes for everyone else to embellish. And that's 30 minutes for three of you. so, yeah. Um, I also do this with any partners that I have or any like big projects that I have coming up.
[00:38:02] So we'll swell the end of the project. Before we really get started and see what it, what is it that we wanna look like? Because it usually shifts and changes a little bit in that process, kind of takes advantage of the group, mind of the team together and everything that's been sifting and sorting through all of our brains and puts it all out in the open onto this table where we can kind of sift and play within, see how that puzzle's gonna fit together in a way that really.
[00:38:29] It gives each one of us the best way of using our skills and our talents and brings us all, a lot of joy at the same
[00:38:36] Megan: time. And nothing is off limits during your swelling. Do you, do you go big, like as big as you
[00:38:43] Rebecca: as big as you want to? I don't always go as big as I can imagine. I go for as big as I can feel.
[00:38:49] Good. So like buying a building in downtown Seattle and having Oprah over for lunch. Don't give a fuck really? uh, I mean, sure, nice. But I have no real desire to do any of that. I can stay that and that's wow. Doesn't excite me, but going to New Zealand to visit some of my Abrahams friends over there and spending a week, that's an entirely different thing that feels like, yeah.
[00:39:16] Yeah. I would swallow that and I would have a good seven minutes, even if I never. So
[00:39:22] Megan: it has to feel good to you. You can't wow. About someone else's dream. It has to be something that aligns with
[00:39:29] Rebecca: your joy. Yeah. I, I mean, if you're creating what you're feeling, you can't have a happy ending to an unhappy journey.
[00:39:42] It just doesn't work. try it. I dare it. It doesn't work. Uh, so everything that I'm doing along the way to what I. I've gotta feel pretty close to where I wanna feel at the end. Wow. That
[00:39:57] Megan: was crazy. Go ahead, Mariana.
[00:39:59] Rebecca: Thank you. Uh, I have a question because for me, I'm very much of a perfectionist and I try to shake that a little bit of, and I'm thinking of creating a product, but then sometimes this little voice in my head is like, Are you just going to be wasting your time and no one will buy it.
[00:40:18] So is it even worth doing, or should you just continue doing recipes and so on? So how do you like shake that little voice of, am I going to be wasting my time creating something? Because it can and can't work, but it's more the accepting that I will be learning something from it, but sometimes it's easier to say it than to feel.
[00:40:43] Yeah. Okay. It's a really good question. Um, so in my experience, shaking that voice off doesn't work in the long run. So, I mean, I could tell you how to avoid that as much as possible, but the thing is that little voice is an important voice. It's a piece of view that needs to be listened to. And sometimes it actually is saying, Hey, This might be a little bit the wrong direction.
[00:41:07] And maybe if you listen to me, you'd tweak it now. And then the product would just be fine. So how I listen to that voice and make, make sure it gets to speak its piece usually is through journaling. For me, I like to write. And so I tend to be willing to write down my thoughts. Um, especially the ones that I wouldn't necessarily share with someone else.
[00:41:29] And once I've written it down and I can look back over it, then I'm, I'm like, wait, I think that really okay. Well, if I think that, let me look at that and see if that's still true. And so then that, that is usually what helps me get to pinpoint what that little voice is telling me. The little voice is just nervous and afraid, but it is still important.
[00:41:50] Is that helpful? Yes. Yeah. And, but basically how do you deal with the, like, even listening to the voice, which I try as well, but to like deal with the fear of failure, like of failing with the project, even listening to the voice and creating something that looks really, really nice, and that maybe we have talked to some people that would be interested, but then.
[00:42:17] Maybe it can fail or not achieve as much as we thought. I dunno. Something around that. Yeah. How I deal with failure is kind of similar to the love bank, but I do it more internally focused. So, um, in my experience I have a lot more. Gas to fail at something and recover gracefully. If I can remind myself how many times I've already done that before and how capable I am.
[00:42:49] Cause it's one thing to see failure as like this massive cliff that you're about to fall off of. And that really will trigger the perfectionism. At least it doesn't me. Uh, it really will trigger the perfectionism and, and make me say, no, I have to, I have to get this right. I have to get this right. I can't put it out until I get it right.
[00:43:05] But when I look back at my life and I remember that there have been lots and lots of times where I didn't know what I was gonna do or where something, uh, looked like it was gonna go one direction and it went a different way and I still was able to deal with it just fine. Right. So, uh, one of my teachers calls this writing out your inner securities.
[00:43:27] Insecurity is a lack of inner security. So thinking about all of the things that I know how to do again, this is a list. I have a list of everything that I am capable of doing, although my skills and talents and things that I know I am good at, especially stuff that not everybody is good at. I wrote write this down.
[00:43:47] And then when that fear of failure comes up, I can remind it. Yes. Maybe we'll lose the ORs in the middle of the rapid. But I've been there before. It's not that big of a deal. The river's gonna carry me. I'm gonna be fine. right. That, just that developing that confidence in yourself, however that comes about that, it doesn't matter.
[00:44:14] What's going on in life. You will be able to respond. Okay. Thank you. Is that helpful? Yes. Really
[00:44:23] Megan: helpful. I love that, Rebecca. That's awesome. I have a question. So how do you distinguish between that little voice telling you to do or not to do something and listening to it versus it just being a fear?
[00:44:39] Like, because sometimes in my business and my life, I feel something, but it's, I know it's just a fear that I have to move through. So, how do you personally distinguish between those two things? Because they sound the same, but you deal with them very differently.
[00:44:59] Rebecca: Yeah, that's a good point. They do sound the same at first in my experience, uh, fear as an emotion will keep moving through you fear as a thought will stick around and bother.
[00:45:15] Fear as an emotion will keep moving through you. As long as you're not trying to press it down or push it away or hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist. So for fear, that's an emotion. Attention is the, the solution. Um, at least for me, usually it's just being with the fear and being like, okay, what is it that I'm really afraid of?
[00:45:38] And once you're, once you can identify your fear and you can name it. Then you've taken some of your power back. Once you can name it, then you can start to develop a tragedy for it. Uh, the fear that is a thought that is usually, um, this inner critic that I have going on. That's telling me I'm not good enough, or I'm not smart enough or something like that for that fear.
[00:46:08] And that's not always just fear. That's also like doubt and guilt and blame, and that little voice can bring up all kinds of things, including fear for that fear. I've learned that that voice has a certain care, a certain way of speaking. Like, and so I've kind of given it a character in my head and I can hear it and I can go, oh, right.
[00:46:30] That thought is not me. That thought is not my intuition. That thought is this little tyrant that's living in my head. That's not paying rent. And instead of trying to shame them or evict them, I'm going to find a way of letting them entertain themselves. And maybe that means, you know, giving it some chocolate or some Sudoku or something so that it can keep busy, but allow me to get on with the business of actually moving forward with my life.
[00:46:58] So fear is an emotion be with it and acknowledge it and just, just don't try and push it down. Usually within two or three minutes, any emotion that I have coming up is going to be able to release majority of what it's got right there. As long as I'm not pressing. And yeah. And then the fear is a thought, identify that voice, make friends with it and don't let it steer the bus.
[00:47:26] Megan: So well said, I, it takes practice though, right? I mean, it's like easy to understand, like you need, you can't push fear away and be like go away. But then when it actually happens, it's so hard to actually do that for me. Anyway, it takes a lot of practice. To recognize what, like, oh yeah. That's you that's right.
[00:47:49] I remember you, you were here a year ago when I did this and just to like yeah. Not push it away and to almost embrace it and welcome it and just allow it in your life again, like that whole desperate, like get away. That's not. Do anything, that's not gonna be
[00:48:07] Rebecca: good. Well, it's gonna set up a tug of war within yourself, which means you're just gonna waste a whole lot more energy fighting yourself and not actually getting anything done.
[00:48:15] So, yeah. And
[00:48:17] Megan: we don't want that. Yeah. Who, who is up for swallowing? Anyone wanna swallow in the membership? Like a 30 minute session sometime? Not now, but like another, yeah, Mariana. Yay. I'll set up a zoom call for it. If anyone wants to do it, just like dreaming big and. We can talk about specific projects or your week or whatever.
[00:48:38] I love it. Yeah. Okay. You're awesome. Thank you. This was so fun. This was one of my favorite discussions. This was yeah. Really valuable. So thanks for your time. Any last words,
[00:48:50] Rebecca: shine and receive. Yeah.
[00:48:52] Megan: Shine and receive.
[00:48:53] Rebecca: Yes. Love that. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you, Megan. I really appreciated getting to be here and getting to, to talk with your community and share with you all.
[00:49:03] Thank you so much.