[00:00:00] Scott: As soon as you try to use words to describe what a Kundalini awakening is, you don't do justice. And so, so for the longest time, I would start with, well, it's like having an orgasm, but times a million. It is this incredible BLI state that's, you don't really know what it is until it happens.

[00:00:19] Rebecca: Hey, you.

[00:00:20] Thanks for tuning in. Just a quick heads up, this episode is rated R, so expect that there will be some language that you may not want your kids to hear. Lots of adult topics and quite possibly some explicit conversations about sex. This episode is probably not safe for work though, you know, I guess it depends on where you work.

[00:00:39] Scott: All right, Rebecca. Talk to me,

[00:00:42] Rebecca: Scott. Hey, welcome.

[00:00:45] Scott: Thank you. It's a Pleasure to be here.

[00:00:46] Rebecca: Thank you. . It's a Pleasure to have you. I, I love getting to bring people on who I have been working with or collaborating with for a while, but a lot of my friends and listeners have never met or heard of. And I wanted to bring you on because we were in a clubhouse room a couple of weeks ago.

[00:01:05] You shared one of the poems that you had written and it touched me in a beautiful way. So I thought I would have you on and have you share the poem and then we could talk about it a bit and talk about Pleasure and some of the interesting 40 days in the wilderness experience that you've had recently.

[00:01:25] and yeah, that's where I wanted to start. So, hi.

[00:01:29] Scott: Hi. Yeah, well, 40 days in the wilderness, drink a lot of water. That's all I can say.

[00:01:36] Rebecca: and a lot of electrolytes too, right? a lot of

[00:01:38] Scott: electrolytes. All right. Let me give a backdrop to the poem that might make more sense. So I had a Kundalini awakening about a year and a half ago, and when I went through that experience, I didn't know what a Kundalini awakening was.

[00:01:53] I didn't even really know what the word Kundalini meant. I'm sure I had heard it before. But I had, I, I got thrown off a horse in my twenties and always had a bad back, you know, just, it would flare up, you know, time to time at the at, and it was related to that. And so for, actually for a couple of years I've been doing time massage, which is wonderful.

[00:02:17] Right. And to kind of help with the back. And I, and I'm gonna give you this backdrop just so you can get a sense of the randomness and the beautiful synchronicity of the universe and how things play together. I got tired of driving to Raleigh. I live in Chapel Hill and it's in North Carolina and it's traffic.

[00:02:36] It would take me an hour and a half to get to there. And I went to this place cuz it's incredible. Really, really high quality.

[00:02:43] Rebecca: Sounds like that's a pretty long commute for somebody. That's back problems.

[00:02:47] Scott: Ridiculous commute. It's a ridiculous commute, you know, but, but I. The, the masseuse that I went to and, and, and the owner was, Ty, would take her staff back to Thailand for masterclass.

[00:02:59] I mean, it was a very unusual in terms of her commitment and dedication to, to the art of, of massage. So that, so I was a stickler for that. But the commute got to me, so I looked on, I didn't even know what idea, what I was looking for. I looked online for someone, uh uh, who's closer to me, who had gone to the same.

[00:03:21] Massage school that this therapist had gone to to get her certification. Now of course that doesn't mean they're gonna be any good, but in my head I said, well, okay, if I know that at least they're getting the baseline training. So I find a person and um, find out that she does a Swedish massage, but she also does cranial sacral therapy.

[00:03:40] C S t. I didn't know what that was. I didn't really care. She had incredible reviews. I thought I'll just go to somebody and do this. Cranial sacral therapy involves, boy, this is gonna, I'm gonna butcher this Descript, but in your spinal column, there is cranial sacral fluid that runs from the base of your spine all the way up to your head.

[00:04:03] And in my butchered Descript of what C s T is, it is about in effect, looking for blockages in the flow of cranial sac fluid. And so the massage itself, It's, it's sometimes there's no touch at all. And, and, and if there is touch, it's very light touch. So it's, it's, it's quite fascinating. A guy named John Up Ledger came up with a technique.

[00:04:29] He was a physician and my therapist had gone to the up ledger institute for training. Now, I didn't know what any of this was, but the only reason I say that and, and let me just say right upfront, If you have cranial sacral therapy, that doesn't mean you're gonna have a Kundalini awakening. It doesn't mean that at all.

[00:04:47] I'm just sort of giving you the backdrop because I think my massage therapist is also a spirit guide. I didn't use that language then, but I'm using it now. So, In a nutshell, as part of the process, I set up a six week series of sessions to go in to work on my back. Well, she cured my back like almost instantly, and I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.
[00:05:15] But along with that came this. Kundalini awakening, which didn't happen immediately, but, and, and that's basically the, you, you know, your life energy sort of, you know, coming to the forefront. And I have a podcast, I started a podcast called the Kundalini Chronicles, just to sort of scribe it because I didn't know what it was, and I didn't know I, I, yeah, I just didn't know what it was.
[00:05:44] So the therapist, When I was having these experiences, very intense, out of body experiences, intense experiences where she was guiding me inside my body through a portal to the universe. And this is the point where your listeners go, oh boy, here we go. But hey, I didn't choose this. It chose me, I guess. So it is what it is.
[00:06:12] So I'm having all these experiences, my head's splitting open, my spine, twisting and turning, and, and I'm hearing popping sounds. And, uh, she says, you know, this is you. I think you need to talk to somebody who's more adept at this. She's still my massage therapist, but. She introduced me to my spiritual teacher, this guy named Tom Thompson.
[00:06:33] I interview him in one of the episodes of, of my podcast. I encourage y'all to, if you're interested in this, to listen to that interview because that's somebody who had his awakening at 15 years of age and he's. Hope I'm not aging Tom, but I think he's probably 70 now and he's had several gurus over his, his life.
[00:06:53] His whole story is fascinating, but here's what I wanna say right up front about the two of those people, my, my spirit guide and, and my spiritual teacher, incredibly ethical and incredibly focused on what Kund. Is and what it is not very helpful in terms of helping me understand what some of these things that were happening to me.
[00:07:17] Whereas, and I come from a mental health background, but with a mental health background, man, I fit several D s M categories even with these experiences. Like this guy's having a psychotic break, right? Couldn't be further from the truth, but consult your medical professional. I'm not giving medical advice.
[00:07:34] This is for entertainment purposes only, , and I'm just telling you what happened to me. So anyway, so one of the manifestations after having this awakening experience, which is really in effect, bringing me in touch with the universe in a, in a different way that I'd been in touch with before. One of the manifestations is I started waking up early in the morning and there would be a word or a phrase kind of like tattooed on my forehead, but it would just bolt me outta bed and I would have to write.
[00:08:13] So I would get up and in effect leave my body and the the spontaneous poem would come. And I know that sounds wacky, sounds so wacky, but I would literally be sitting there and with Pen and using, well, I use a re re, the Remarkable Tablet. Hey, there we go. The remarkable tablet. You're gonna love it. But at, at first it was with pen and paper, and.
[00:08:45] Would start writing, but it's almost like it wasn't me writing. It's like I would be up on the ceiling somewhere and I would watch this happen, and then I wouldn't really have a sense of what was written until after I'd read it. And so I, that's what I do on the podcast is I just go over most days and, uh, it writes itself.
[00:09:08] I don't edit it, it just comes out. And then I go over to my podcast equipment and I record it and then figure it out. So if you wanna have fun with that, you're welcome to check that out. So that process has been fascinating and, and I, you know, I, it, it just is what it is and it just, it just happens. But like, I was just cleaning up my desk here.
[00:09:33] Here's an example. This is like the last couple weeks, you know of, and of course you can't see that. Probably about 250 pages of just, they just come out and when they come out, I, I lose all sense of. What they were. What they were. I know.
[00:09:54] Rebecca: It doesn't sound weird to me, honestly. I Well, that's so good. I know.
[00:09:58] I know. I keep hearing you hedging and saying, well, this is just so weird, so strange. It doesn't sound weird to me. One of the most enjoyable poems that I've ever written, I wrote, After having an amazing date, well, kind of during an amazing date, so I was dating this guy named Mark and we had just, just spectacular evening together where the connection was wonderful, the emotions were high and.
[00:10:27] Pleasant and we were both focused in the moment and the orgasms were numerous and expansive and generous, and then afterwards we're falling asleep and I'm so inspired. I've got so much energy, I'm so worked up and excited that. I just start scribbling lines on a piece of paper next to my bed, which I don't usually have paper next to my bed that I did, just, I wrote a line and then I started to fall asleep, and then something else would pop into my head.
[00:10:55] That felt like the next right line, and I had to write that down. I ended up writing down a whole poem about, yeah, the, the beauty of that kind of sexual interaction, and then the distinction for me of like really great sex and the kind of sex where you. Exhausted versus, yeah. I'm trying to , I'm trying to make a distinction here.
[00:11:19] Yeah. I called the poem well Fucked Woman. I've shared it on this show before. I might, I don't
[00:11:24] Scott: think I've heard it. I'll share it
[00:11:26] Rebecca: directly if you want. Okay. Yeah. Well, fucked Woman is all about the distinction between having some nice, playful, fun, and being so satisfied. That you can barely walk and you can't imagine not fulfilling your greatest dreams the next morning.
[00:11:45] Scott: Right. So let me, let me. Take it a step further that since this is a podcast, your podcast is about Pleasure and, and one of the issues that gets confused about Kundalini is the sex part, right? Because that, I mean, that's just part of who we are and, and believe me, I'm not a teacher, but as a student of this, and I've seen lots of examples where I've read about lots of examples.
[00:12:09] Gurus, whatever, get into trouble where they start. And there's been some well documented cases where they start having sex with their disciples. And maybe it's for the wrong reasons, right? It's more for that kind of base physical Pleasure. Now in everyday life, there's nothing wrong with that. But when it gets confused with what's beyond that is where it can get problematic.
[00:12:32] And it's, for me, what. And I think this poem, and I have another one that I'll read you too, is that touches on this, is that, or what I'm becoming clear of is that there is no doubt about it that a Kundalini experience, at least the, and everybody's different. Right. But the one I had has an incredible sexual component to it.
[00:12:52] It, it's incredibly charged. But the bliss state that, that I. Was able to reach and reach on a regular basis. So you, you talked about having, you know, these incredible orga orgasms. Well think about if you multiplied that by a thousand or a million. It takes it out of the realm of for, for me, sex and puts it in the realm of just this complete oneness with the universe.
[00:13:23] And, and, and the thing I've learning. As soon as you try to use words to describe what a Kundalini awakening is, you don't do justice. And so, so for the longest time I would start with, well, it's like having an orgasm, but times a million. Mm-hmm. and, and which it. Also doesn't accurately describe it, but it is that it is this incredible BLI state that's that I heard somebody say the other day that you don't really know what it is until it happens, you know?
[00:13:54] And it's, but, but it is that, it is state of, of being as one. And so there's not the, the, I don't know, all the trappings of ego and you know, this identity about who we are. Who we're with and who we're pleasing, who are not pleasing, it all goes away. It all melts, and it's just this state of oneness. And that's a r.
[00:14:19] I know that's not an accurate Descript, but it's the best I can do with words. Well, well actually where it comes out for me is in my poetry , I'm, I'm a little more coherent in my poetry than I am because it's like, eh, I'm not even writing a dang. Poetry is writing itself. You know? It's like, oh, oh, that's interesting.
[00:14:39] So, anyway, so yeah. So thank you for sharing that and, and so if you just. That's the only thing I know to say. So you know that, you imagine that feeling that you had of completeness. Multiply it by a million And that's, that's, that's for me is, is the kind of the walking in two worlds that I do now. Cuz I go into these states of samati all the time now, and it's this interesting journey of letting go of ego and just being as.
[00:15:14] And yeah, it's, you know, I'm 65 years old, you know, this happened to me at 64. It's like, where the hell was I, you know, those 63 years before, I certainly wasn't thinking about this stuff, but you were being prepared for that . That's probably, that's probably what it is. So anyway, so that's the backdrop. God, there's just so much to cover in that.
[00:15:37] But I, I, I wanted, and, and this will hopefully make the. The poem makes sense, which is about my awakening. It's called Kundalini Rising the Awakening Revisited. And this is me going back. I wrote that this came up several, uh, maybe two months ago. And the original awakening was, you know, over a year and a half ago.
[00:16:01] But let me read it. The poem is called Kundalini Rising. The Awakening Revisited. My Torso is a spiral shell. Slowly moving, turning creaking. Tiny millimeters of movement. I can feel it. Intense heat. Cool, refreshing rain, steam rises, intense. Like nothing I know or have ever known yet. Familiar. An old friend, a voice from my past that greets me with a warm welcome.
[00:16:36] What took you so long? The voice says. What took you so long? I say light, bright, light, blinding, light sound. The river in my head, rages thunder, lightning from every direction I am in the eye of the storm. Quiet, calm, peaceful, yet all around me is a hypercharged sensory overload, going full throttle. It's wonderful.
[00:17:07] It's thrill. It tingles with the most delicious sensations I never dreamed imaginable. I am spent exhausted. Yet it continues with its unrelenting pulse of Pleasure joy, sadness, release, the kind of release that comes when you've done everything possible to hold it back until that moment when you know you can hold it no longer.
[00:17:38] But you try, just hold on, hold on. And then it crashes through. The dam breaks, the river floods. Release joy, ecstasy, relief, sadness, gratitude, acceptance. The channel from body to universe is wide open. The river rages is pure light, pure energy. Every molecule in my physical being is alive, pulsing luxuriating in the essence of being unshackled and free to become one with the universe.
[00:18:18] The body is no longer my body. The Pleasure in the body is no longer my Pleasure. It is the Pleasure of the universe. The body has served its purpose. The body has provided a vehicle for me to reunite with the universe. My back arches, my toes extend, my legs rise up uncontrollably. The river rages throughout my body, like a delicious explosion of all of my senses, both conscious and unconscious.
[00:18:54] It is the unconscious senses that quicken me The. I know not what they are. Only that they are divine. They are pure. They are the essence of humanity. They pulse, they vibrate. Their song is the song of the river growing louder and louder. Louder with a percussive, reverberation drowning out everything. I am merging with the river.
[00:19:23] My body is rigid with an ecstasy. I cannot explain. I can hold back no longer. My head splits into right down the middle, intense light blue, green, purple, white spirals upward through the opening in my head up into the sky. My body is on a spit of light, slowly rotating as the cone of light courses through my legs, my pelvis, my torso, my head lifting me into the.
[00:19:56] Slowly turning, rotating, cleansing. I am floating. My senses are on fire. I can see and I cannot see. I know, and I do not know. I am and I am not. I am contradiction, and that is okay. I am floating. I'm exhausted. I am euphoric. I am spent. I am complete. I am done fighting. I am accepting. I am accepted. I am awake.
[00:20:37] Wow.
[00:20:38] Rebecca: Yeah. That last line I am awake, I think was the piece that really stood out to me in the clubhouse room That made me wanna have you on the show and talk a bit more about this. Thank you for sharing that.
[00:20:53] Scott: Yeah, you're welcome. No, that's, that's how it rolls every morning. .
[00:21:00] Rebecca: Yeah, I, I'd be curious to hear, to compare notes, I guess, about that poem, cuz I hear a lot of roller coasters of emotion.
[00:21:12] But it sounds like the way that you're describing it, it sounds like it's entertaining instead of suffering, it sounds like. Enjoying the chaotic wave of the world instead of feeling like you're being pushed around.
[00:21:29] Scott: Yes. And, and chaos is, is a good way to describe it, is chaotic, but it is not scary. It's not forced.
[00:21:38] It is, it is this, you know, it's, it's this like acceptance of everything, you know, of the, the polarities of joy, sadness, and both are valid. Both are important. Both are part of the mix of this kind of cosmic goo that makes us all up and part of being awake for me anyway, is that it's kind of honoring all of that, if that makes any sense at all.
[00:22:08] You know, it's, it's, yeah. It's, it's, it's honoring all of that and. So the, the, you know, bliss, you know, I say bliss date, you know, it, it's, it's all of that. It's not just happening. It's, it's not like fairy dust, you know, where we're just skipping along. It's everything. But when you recognize that we are all, everything, it's, it's beautiful.
[00:22:33] Rebecca: It is. I love that. Honoring the, what did you call it, the
[00:22:41] Blissful. Glu goo, did you say that? Blissful. Go cosmic. The cosmic goo .
[00:22:47] Scott: That's really because it's what it is. It's, you know, it's like a stew, you know? It's, it's all, you know, we're all energy and, and when you take away the ego attachment to that energy, it's a just, it's just a whole. Deal.
[00:23:07] Rebecca: Yeah, it is. And I like that you mentioned it's not just fairy dust, it's that real fulfilling kind of bliss.
[00:23:16] I have a similar thing that I've learned years ago about happiness and that when I get genuinely happy, like really fulfillingly happy, I ended up getting money. It's very consistent and it has been for years. And the more I watch it, the more I pay attention to it, the more it is real. But it can't just be like, oh, I put a smile on my face.
[00:23:39] I must be happy now. Where's my money? ? It's like, no, it's gotta reach a genuine place of bliss, even if it's for five minutes, even if it's a short walk on the beach. It's gotta be genuinely uplifting and fulfilling for me in order for it. Towards that. Right.
[00:23:54] Scott: Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. I get, I get another one I wanted to read to you.
[00:24:00] I would love to hear it. So this, so this has, you know, it's just weird. This is. This is not about my awakening, this is about connection of, of two souls and, uh, when making love. And I thought about this for your show cuz that's kind of the focus of your show is on, is on Pleasure. And, and it just to give you, and I don't know why, it just, you know, it, this is what happens.
[00:24:25] It just, it's, it'll be working in my head and the phrase was, beads of life. So here we go. Feeds of life. Moisture forms from heat. Heat that grows with anticipation of connection, of spark, of kinetic action and reaction. Life-affirming heat, life giving moisture, leaving me and traveling to you in the form of a.
[00:25:03] A bead of life of love that forms on my brow until it reaches a size where it can no longer be contained, yearning to be set free. This bead of life filled with a nourishing liquid of the affirmation of me breaks loose in a free form flight through the air that separates us, air that is thick with the veil of disorienting mist.
[00:25:30] Which creates a state of suspended belief of what is possible to feel, to sense, to appreciate, to celebrate, to luxurious. The essence of me lands on the essence of you leaving a soft impression of moisture gathering itself, regaining its form as a. Preparing itself for the inevitable journey of exploration and renewal that will travel the full expression of you.
[00:26:05] The you that is rarely explored and appreciated for the miracle that is you. Me, together on an unspoken quest to be as one the cradle of life in each of us beckons, urges, calls for attention. Demands recognition. But for the bead, this is a journey of reflection, of appreciation. In no hurry to reach a final destination for what is final is what is now.
[00:26:40] Destinations are infinite. They come, they go, they come, they go with speed. Sometimes slow. They come, they go. The bead is in no hurry. The bead is a chronicler of the journey. Taking careful notes as it travels down from landing to crown, leaving a trail of life-affirming gratitude, as if to say thank you.
[00:27:13] I appreciate you. I celebrate you as it makes its way around mounds and valleys. Meandering this way in. As if on a warm Sunday leisurely stroll, exploring the Knowles, long lines earthly flows, the bead knows where it needs to go. To connect with the soul, to nourish the glow, to unite with a knowing essence of you that is aching to be shown.
[00:27:47] The bead knows the bead flows. Anticipation grows, circling, caressing the bead delights in the quickening tension just underneath Small seismic quivers growing strength in frequency spreading across the vast plane of humanity. That is you. That is me. That is us. We must trust in the wisdom of the be. As the bead travels down, it meets and greets a bead from you.
[00:28:26] Formed in the valley of Queens, traveling down at a slow regal pace. Meeting my bead, joining my bead, strengthening my bead, uniting with my be to become one. To prepare for the inevitable union of souls to grow. To flow, to know the direction to go. Mountains, move seas, recede, all to wake, make way for this unified bead on a mission to please, to set free to celebrate the ecstasy of being you.
[00:29:10] Of being me. Together we sound the drum, we embrace the sun explode in the. And become one poem.
[00:29:28] Rebecca: Man, that poem went to many different places. Yeah, they all do. It was interesting because it started out and it sounded unapologetically sexual to me. Yeah. And then it went on this very different journey somewhere in the middle and in the end, and I was like, whoa, where did I end up? .
[00:29:47] Scott: You know, it's, it's, it's, it's interesting that, that, and, you know, I'm still trying to figure out what all this means, but, uh, most of these are about a journey.
[00:29:56] You know, they're, they're, it's, it's, it's like that journey for me of what cultural beliefs, you know, expectations, things you've grown up with or whatever. And then sort of this, the discovery of the, the, how do I frame this? That, that, that the deeper you go into yourself, the more it opens. You know about what's possible and what connection is, what it truly is, you know, not what somebody else says it is, or you know, or some societal thing says it is.
[00:30:27] Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. But they all kind of seem to take themselves. On a journey. This is fun, .
[00:30:36] Rebecca: It is fun, isn't it? fun, you know? Okay. Now that I've had time to process that poem a little bit more, yeah. To me it feels like, it, it, to me, it reminds me of an experience that I get to have this week. And do you remember the very first breast that you ever got to touch?
[00:31:00] Scott: Oh, let us see. I do. I do. It made an impact, right? Magical moments. Pretty clumsy. But it was, you know, . Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. I can still see it. .
[00:31:17] Rebecca: I got to experience that this week through someone else's eyes. And did you? I did. I did. And it was actually a handful of firsts, but that was one of them. And. I don't know.
[00:31:29] Getting to see that and be reminded of what that feels like and how, how important the connection is to that. To everything. Yeah. Yeah. It was really special. And now I, now I feel like that's the journey that your poem just took me up and so, yeah.
[00:31:49] Scott: And that, and that's the, you know, that, that is so inter that's the, actually, that's the joy because when it comes out, obviously it's about my journey, but people react very differently, you know, and that's as it should be.
[00:32:01] You know, it's like, what is the part that it touches in you? I think because, you know, this, the, the awakening. For me is so much about surrender, but not, that doesn't mean that's a passive surrender. It's about, it's surrender, it's about acceptance, it's about, but even then, it's not a, it's not a passive except acceptance.
[00:32:26] It's a celebration of what is and yeah. And then just letting go, you know? And, and
[00:32:34] Rebecca: it's like a celebration of.
[00:32:37] Scott: I don't know why I have this, but this other one is on my table. I have one more, I'll read you, unless that was enough for you. I don't know. What's this one called?
[00:32:47] Rebecca: Chrysalis. Oh, I remember this one.
[00:32:49] Yes, please. This is a great way to finish this one.
[00:32:53] Scott: Okay. All right. Yeah, and so here's the thing. You saw the stack of papers, uh, I, I had remembered that you had said something about one, but then these others, they, they, you know, they. They just say this, they just say, yeah, do this one, because you know, there's like several hundred here and they just so and so.
[00:33:12] Yeah. So,
[00:33:13] Rebecca: you know, Scott, I, I think you're starting to find your people, the people that recognize that all of that stuff is not weird at all. It's actually how, yeah. Some of us live our lives all day long.
[00:33:25] Scott: Yeah. That's a hell of a way to go guided by something . All right, this is called Chrysalis. Sparks light growth, safety, warmth, glow climbing, inching growing, walking with an uncertain path to knowing head splits opens wide fountains, geysers form.
[00:33:52] Deep inside, rushing, flowing, rhythmic pulse. Shining, vibrating, the unknowing nose cleansing, purifying, silent, hush memories, fade, swept up in the rush. Joy remains embracing my being. Fear and doubt flee as part of the cleaving tears. Well finding space to fall like rain in a pool of grace. Grace feeds the geyser from deep in my being, which nourishes the fountain that I cannot avoid seeing the fountain spews from the abyss that separates my head.
[00:34:39] Knowledge is useless. There's nothing to dread. The fountain glows with the colors of the rainbow and more the spectrum of light. Sears, my very core, my existence, my awareness. Is bound by the light is absorbed by the light surrender I must to the universal might of the bright, bright light, I dive in the pool that nourishes my soul diving deep where I know I must go.
[00:35:14] I lose myself in the soft glow of knowingness of the gentle warmth and sweet surrendering caress of light of joy. Of peace, of contentment of being. I am transforming that chrysalis is adapting, accepting, and growing. I am no longer in the physical me. I am above. I am below. I am free. I am light. I am dark.
[00:35:43] I am neither. I am of. I am of not. I am neither. I am floating. I am mourned. I am neither. I am. I am not. I am neither. I am changing. I am adapting. I am growing. I am expanding. I am contracting. I am all these things. And I am none of these things. I am not. I, oh.
[00:36:15] Rebecca: That's another beautiful one full of contradiction and what it might feel like.
[00:36:20] I love my life. Rebecca. .
[00:36:22] Scott: Yeah, . I love that. But it's okay. You know that, that whole thing about contradiction and, and I'll stop with the poems. I could go on all day, but, but, but that contradiction is a theme, you know? And it's, and I, I have had to get to a point where actually that's okay. I celebrate it cuz it allows me to, you.
[00:36:42] It's kinda like radar, you know, ping off of this and ping off of that. And as part of the process of finding the path, yeah, it
[00:36:50] Rebecca: helps you find the edges right. Yeah,
[00:36:52] Scott: absolutely.
[00:36:53] Rebecca: Yeah, absolutely. Parameters are really helpful when you're creating.
[00:36:59] Scott: I like busting through though, so anyway, so there you go,
[00:37:02] Rebecca: Rebecca.
[00:37:02] Wow. You know? Okay. I think the reason that I love ending on that poem so much is Chrysalis is the thing that the Caterpillar reps itself up into, and then it opens. And begins to fly. But there are two things that I know about that. One is that if you open a crystals prematurely, if you try and help the butterfly out, it will not build the muscles necessary in its wings in order to fly.
[00:37:30] So it actually actively hurts the butterfly to not let it struggle. And the, I don't remember where this quote came from. I think it was from the Shamonic de Armoring workshop that I took a couple of years ago, but the idea that the butterfly emerges when the pain of staying a caterpillar is too much.
[00:37:53] Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like this year I have gone through a lot. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's gone through an interesting year of being in a chrysalis and finding some struggle and some finding our feet among that and building up those wings so that when. Are ready to fly. When we're ready to move out of that pain, we
[00:38:15] Scott: actually can.
[00:38:16] So beautiful and, and so spot on. I tease a lot about, you know, why couldn't this awakening just be a one and done, you know, like, boom, there you go. But that's not how it works, .
[00:38:29] Rebecca: That's not how it works. And that's not the point. Right. That's not why that's
[00:38:32] Scott: not the point is absolutely right. So I embrace the struggle.
[00:38:37] Anyway, thank you for writing me to share some of this. It was
[00:38:40] Rebecca: a Pleasure to have you. I have one more question. How do you use Pleasure in your everyday life?
[00:38:47] Scott: Well, it's, it's. How do I describe this? Because I, I think I told you, I walk in two worlds. You know, there's this kind of bliss state that it's pretty constant, and I think my definition of Pleasure used to be more physically based.
[00:39:05] You know, like, oh, it feels good to do this, or do to that, or, you know, rub your hands or rub your feet. That feels my, and it's just for me, but Pleasure for me is, is when I'm, The, that state of kind of nothingness, that state of, of, of bliss, of I am, and that's not an incapacitated state for me, and this is the part that I'm still trying to figure out.
[00:39:34] I can be in that state while a simultaneously being in my ego state, carrying on a conversation, driving the car, and it's really beautiful and, and it, it has. Taken me a while to get there and I don't know why. It's basically over the past four months, I guess, that um, I've found myself first popping in to that bliss date and everything else is gone.
[00:40:02] But now just kinda like, it's j both worlds. It's, it's, that's another episode cuz there I talked to a spiritual teacher about what that's all about and that's just, that's a longer discussion, but it is. So, yeah, I use Pleasure in my life every day, but it's not the Pleasure, it's not to say that I still don't get Pleasure with a massage or this or that, or intimacy.
[00:40:24] You know, that's, that's not to say that at all. But for me it's, I don't know. It's this blis state, which is just this, you know, I'm trying to explain something to you that isn't meant to be understood by the ego mind. It's just meant to. And I celebrate anybody who has the opportunity to experience that because it's freaking beautiful.
[00:40:53] Yes,
[00:40:54] Rebecca: it's, yes, it's, it's beautiful. So, well, thank you for
[00:41:00] Scott: sharing. Yes, enjoyed it. Good talking to you. Yeah, you too. All right. Thanks, Rebecca. Thanks
[00:41:09] Rebecca: Scott. I'll see you. All
[00:41:11] Scott: right. Bye-bye. Thank you.
[00:41:15] Rebecca: Hey there, Pleasure. Well, that's it for today's conversation here at Pleasure Central Radio. We love using conscious communication science, geeky and copious amounts of true Pleasure to improve our partnerships, our money, and our love lives, and we hope you do too.
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[00:41:52] Follow me on your favorite podcast player. Find out more, and get in touch at Pleasure Central Radio dot com. Your thought to ponder today is
[00:42:00] Scott: the deeper you go into yourself, the more opens up. What's possible and what connection is, what it truly is, not what somebody else says it is or, or some societal thing says it is.